Monday, August 8, 2011

I’m depressed. That’s the update.
I used to love what I do UNTIL it become massively overload, with people pushing around, didn’t give me enough time to incubate NOR rest. People underestimate me (that’s the last thing I could bare in life) as if my part are the most unimportant thing—so make it fast etc. Yes world, I sadly announced that I’m depressed.
I haven’t smile for a while recently, I barked as I asked; since I’m sooo overloaded with things. I’ve done some work on time, but also abandoned some works as well. For now, seriously, I have nothing in my mind except “RESIGN ASAP”.
I’ve been trying to think other solution, but guess what I’ve been thinking of?
I want people to be more respect on what I do. I’m a creative, not a tukang layout. I need time to produce. I hate when I didn’t given enough TIME to do art. I hate doing so many projects AT ONCE since I won’t have enough time to incubate idea nor execute.
That respect thingy include attitude and salary. If they fail. They fail.

I’m so hurt when people told me to hold on. I really do hurt. I wonder if they would do on my position. I’m not the kind of magabut type, so when I say I’m overload, you can ensure yourself that I’m overload.
I’m depressed. I don’t know whether I will be happier or more depressed after I quit this job and start my own business. It will be another challenge I know. But all I know NOW is I’m tired and I’m depressed. And I hate when people don’t trust when I say so. Why can I be tired?
All this burden that I have on my shoulder, I wish I could scream it out . Coz really, I slept dreaming about works, I woke up tired. I’m on the edge.  And I’m started to hate everyone and everything.