never thought before

Monday, January 9, 2012
I joined 4 club during high school. I become a leader in one of organization that I joined during college. I never saw myself as a loner. I have several peer groups during those time. I never thought that I'm a loner, until I went to Japan. I was a loner there. The funny thing was after 2 years being a loner, I got myself a loner group of people. We called ourselves 'anti social geng'. We're the kind of group that mind our own business and never bother talking about other people. We dont rely on each other, but dun mind the companion also. I never thought that I'll be loner after came back to Jakarta. But there I was. Being a loner. I remembered myself being detached and not talking much when I was working as internee at the advertising agency. I remembered also doing that when T was working at the magazine. I never thought that Im a loner. Until now. I guess, more less I grew my character into a loner one. Before there was social media booming, everybody interact more in facebook and instant messenger, I'm quite socially active there. But not after I deactivate my official facebook.

Once my media professor--that I adore so much (he doesnt know of course) said that we consume too many information about things we dont need to know, and he dont like that idea. I mean, hearing 700friends complaining or cheering about their life is NOT what we need. Not after around 2 years after he said that, I finally agree with him. I still have facebook and twitter, but only to follow people that I feel inspirative and close friend dake. I grew abit more ignorant than I used to be. But sincerity is what I live now. I believe everything needs effort, include friendship. And you know well about how I see 'effort' thingy. I dont accept any requited effort.

I dont know why I wrote this topic today. I used to be a bit worry about me being content as a loner. I do hang out with my girlfriend once or twice a month. But that's it. I try to urge myself join an community, even if it's ol community. But then after awhile here I am, admit that I'm content with my solitarity. So I change my resolution now. I dont mind being content with my solitarity, but I must promise myself to urge myself learning and let myself be inspired by other.

Hoahmm, to tell you the truth I was planning to wrote updates about my work and such, i have no idea why I ended up writing this. Maybe because I feel so detach lately, and feel content about it:D I feel that I've reached out my hand for a long requited-ship. And I'm tired. Let it be, people around me, is people who has effort as I have mine. People around me, people who chose to be, not jut for spending time. As I'm around you, never, for spending spare time.



Setyo-Utomo Said said...

Wish you a Happy New Year 2012. Have a great year ahead !